Motherhood
by pseudowritergirl
Summary: Set after Belief, same AU. JJ/Emily femslash. After episode Bloodline. May continue if people are interested.


Disclaimer - I do not own anything of Criminal Minds

Set after Belief

A/N - I was thinking about this for a while, and if it goes down okay I have more to add and may continue with the tense over the episodes. Depends if there is enough interest so let me know.

Emily sighed lightly, blinking through her shock at the twisted turn of events. She leant against the wall next to the pen, dark eyes watching tiredly as the young boy was lead away by Hotchner. She had asked him again about his brothers, and he had just starred back at her with every ounce of defiance and menace that she had seen in fully-grown serial killers. He was just a boy and he had been poisoned.

''You make me sick, you know.''

She stated lowly, almost in a whisper but just a little louder as she rubbed her forehead, trying to think through the thick of her other thoughts. The woman inside the pen, Cathy, Sylvia, it didn't really matter what she wanted to call herself, turned to look at her.

''What?''

Emily swung her dark, scorning gaze onto the sorry excuse for a Mother, fully prepared to depart on her every single thing she truly thought of her. She held her hand up, staving off both Rossi and Jordan's movement and faces of concern. Indicating to them that she was still in control of herself, but she needed to do this. Pretending to be on her side had given her that right.

''I said you make me sick.''

Cathy didn't blink or move, just looked right back at her, right in the eyes. It wasn't sinking in what it was that she had done. There was no remorse or realisation. Emily understood the notion of Stockholm syndrome, but this? This was different. This was twisted and cruel. She had actively helped to turn her son into a killer and there was simply no excuse for that.

''You're married. Do you have a child? Is that why you think you can judge me?''

Emily snickered at the question in exasperation, shaking her head in disdain as she looked down for a moment. But when she looked back up, her eyes were darker and fiercer, and she knew it scared the other woman.

''Oh I don't think I can, I know I can. And yes, I do have a child. A son. And it makes me sick, as a Mother, that you've deluded yourself that what you did to you boy is love. Is Motherhood. You should be ashamed of yourself.''

Emily stated, almost viciously but with every ounce of eerie calm that was her anger. For a brief moment in this case she had had a little sympathy for this woman. After all she was stolen as a child and her parents brutally killed. But more and more that sympathy had began to drift. When she thought of their victims, just little girls. Those dead parents, and then this little boy.

''Don't you dare me I don't love my son. I've been a good Mother to him, you don't know.''

''_You turned him into a killer!_ Do you understand that? He's not even 10 and he's a _murderer_. Like you.''

Emily yelled, making Cathy flinch slightly, her confidence wavering in the face of Emily anger.

''You're too ignorant to understand our ways. Our customs and traditions.''

At that, Emily snarled and snickered again.

''Don't you dare lay this off on tradition. You are not a Romani. And neither is your husband. You've polluted that just like you polluted your son. You just need to have an excuse for your behaviour, that's all it is. The Romani would have nothing to do with you and you know it. You may have had to adapt to stay alive but as soon as you involved your son you stopped being a victim. As soon as you tainted his soul you stopped being a victim.''

Emily countered; also angry that they had perverted the ways of a society they didn't understand themselves. Just a lousy excuse to do as they please. To kill and take innocent girls. All masked as pride for their society, when the society they spoke of would never have anything to do with them.

''Your society is weak. You're weak. You don't know what it is to be a Mother.''

''Is that so?''

Emily crossed her arms, aware that Rossi and Jordan had both inched closer toward her. Both worried that she would snap; especially now Cathy had become so personal.

''I know my sons name.''

She pointed out, making Cathy frown in confusion.

''Do you realise that not once, not one time, have you used your sons name? I know my sons name, and he knows exactly what kind of Mother I am to him. He knows we love him, that he's part of something. And that we would rather die ourselves than do what you've done. We don't twist and contort what love is. My son will grow up and not have to depend on snatching some poor innocent girl away from her bed in the middle of the night. Won't have to depend on his parents being cowards. And you know what? I'll be able to sleep tonight knowing that. Knowing that you and your husband are locked up. And that we'll catch the others eventually, we won't stop looking.''

The raven-haired woman warned, lifting up her chin as she kept her arms folded. She could see the concern in Cathy's face, the anxiety over that prospect. She was afraid. Emily knew it was because she knew it was true. All of it was true. Her child was theirs now, and with enough work he would tell them what they needed to know. With enough psychiatric help, and being away from his parents, that would help. He was only 10; they had him for the rest of his life. They'd get to him, and Cathy knew it. And with that silent understanding, Emily smirked ever so slightly, turned, and walked out.

It didn't take a great deal of time for the team to head to the airstrip to the tranquility of their jet. It was both an easy and lighter air, whilst being ever so tense at the prospect of knowing there were more men out there just like this family. At least they had stopped this one though; they had to take some peace with that. And now the local authorities had a solid profile to work from. Once back at the BAU, they all knew that their efforts wouldn't stop there. They would be circulating that profile and all significant details to all law enforcement agencies, making networks in hopes that once a flag was sent up because someone recognized the pattern, they could move quickly.

''Coffee?''

Emily looked up into the soft smile of David Rossi as he proffered out a mug of steaming coffee, a smile gracing her own lips as she reached out and took it in both hands gratefully.

''You read my mind! Thank you.''

Rossi nodded, slipping into the seat opposite hers, the table between them in the middle. He watched as her dark eyes moved to look out the window, seemingly fascinated by the clouds rolling by, as she sipped the hot liquid. Emily sat on the edge of her seat, straight up but not tense. In fact, he didn't see much sign of what he had seen earlier when she had been sparring with Cathy. She seemed lighter, her eyes less troubled.

''Happy to be going home?''

He enquired, gaining her attention again and drawing an immediate smile from her. She practically glowed, a sparkle swirling in her eyes that he liked to see there. Of course he knew she was happy to be going home, but the question was just an opener. He just wanted to check that Emily was leaving her conversation behind, that Cathy hadn't gotten into her head. Especially when Emily had already had some turbulence around her belief in herself and her place in a family.

''Oh you have no idea! JJ sent me a couple of pictures of Henry doing the most unbelievably cute things, I can't wait to see them for myself!''

Rossi chuckled at Emily's gushing enthusiasm, as she released one of her hands from the mug to flail slightly as her smile got impossibly wider. He liked this side of her, the free spirited, if not rather geeky, side. Not that he thought it was geeky to be so excited over your child, but she was indeed still a full on geek!

''You wanna see?''

She asked quickly, the hope of him wanting to written all over her face. Rossi nodded, trying not to laugh. Emily had been like that from the start. Any opportunity to talk about her son, she'd take it. It made everyone laugh, even JJ, but no one minded, they all got why. So it was no surprise to Rossi that Emily had her phone on the ready. She whipped it up and handed it over, the pictures ready and waiting.

''He's certainly a hansom little guy, I'm sure you'll be dealing with some broken hearts because of him.''

Rossi chuckled, staring into the adorable little face that was already full of innocent mischief. Emily scoffed in amusement, nodding as she sipped her coffee again.

''Yeah well, he's got JJ to thank for that.''

''So if he gets that from JJ, what's he got from you?''

''Apparently the ''ability to make himself heard''!''

Emily quoted, rolling her eyes in mock offence. JJ had told her about a million times over that Henry took that straight from her, usually when he was screaming at some ungodly hour during the night or morning. Those were the times she would get pushed out of bed by a sleepy blonde that insisted Henry was her son!

''Well she has a point.''

Rossi agreed, mustering a mock glare from Emily who smirked nonetheless.

''Hey!''

He chuckled, handing the phone back to her. She gazed at her screen picture for a moment, one of both JJ and Henry that she had taken not long after he had been born. Taking in a long breath, she put it into her pocket again.

''I noticed Cate Hale came by the precinct to see you before we left.''

Rossi mused, making Emily nod lightly.

''Yeah, she did. She's a sweet girl, I think she's going to be okay.''

Emily's voice softened as she thought about the little girl. She had come by with her Dad to thank her, after she had been released from the hospital. Cate had given her a drawing she had done in the hospital, and also one of her favourite soft toys, a little rabbit. Emily had tried to tell her it wasn't necessary, but Cate had insisted. She'd asked Emily if she had any children, noticing the wedding band on her finger, and upon finding out she did she had told Emily she knew she was a good Mom and hugged her. Emily wasn't so proud as to not admit that it had made her cry.

''You're good with kids, they respond to you.''

He remarked, having seen her work with many of them he was always impressed to see her get them to open up. It was her genuineness they responded to.

''Thank you.''

He nodded simply, taking a moment to take a drink of the coffee and scan the area. Hotch was buried in other files, a scowl on his face. Reid was reading, Morgan was listening to his music and Jordan had dozed off. Clearing his throat softly, Rossi looked back toward Emily.

''This case, it was difficult for us all I know, but you connected to it differently. The Mother, you're conversation with her…''

Emily could spot that he didn't exactly know the right words to use to get where he wanted to be, so she decided to intervene.

''I'm okay.''

She said softly, honestly, looking him in the eye and showing him that she really was.

''You're sure?''

''Yeah. I mean you're right, it was difficult. It pushed us all; we've never come across something like this. And yeah, what they did was sick. But in a weird way, it showed me what I'm not, you know?''

Rossi nodded, a feeling of relief moving inside him.

''I just wanted to check. You've had a pretty rough time around the family issue lately.''

She nodded, snickering ruefully before taking another sip of her coffee.

''Yeah, but I had you and JJ to help me, and I listened to both of you. I think finally I'm starting to let a lot of that go, starting to believe in myself. She does. She love me, married me for a reason, right? I'm a lot of things, but I'm not my Father and I'm not that Mother. My life speaks for itself.''

Rossi smiled, a flush of pride running through him with the relief. Emily deserved to be free of all of that. There may always be nagging doubts and whispers, but everyone got those. The important thing was she knew what she wasn't, and she had probably known it all along but she had needed to confront those demons and bring them out into the open, not only for herself but with JJ there to support her. And him, of course.

''It does. Good for you.''

Emily saw through the older mans eyes what he was feeling, and she smiled. It was nice to have a Fatherly figure in her life, someone she could lean on and talk to, who would pull her up and set her straight. It was him that had started the ball rolling in Florida.

''Do you think we'll find those other boys?''

She asked, cringing slightly as she did. She knew she had told Cathy she would, and she had a high hope that with enough time and resources they would break the boy, but they had managed to go under the radar for so long that she wondered when the next opportunity would come.

''Honest answer is I don't know. But at least we've got somewhere to start from now.''

''Yeah, we do. Ah, I really don't want to think about it right now. I just want to get to the weekend already!''

''Got plans?''

''Yeah, we're taking Henry shopping. That boy grows like Reid gets through a book! I'm going to try and get a hapless victim of a babysitter for Saturday evening, take JJ out to dinner before she really sets back in at work.''

Emily was thinking she'd hit up Garcia first; she was usually willing to babysit. Though, Emily had to grimace at the thought that the babysitting gig had been turned into some sort of kinky innuendo by her and Kevin. The thought of them getting hot and heavy on her couch did not go down well!

''I'll watch Henry.''

Rossi more stated than offered, making Emily blink out of her daze.

''You'll watch Henry? Really?''

She squeaked slowly, a look of dubious disbelief covering her face.

''Yes.''

''You want to babysit a 5 month old baby? Who needs to be fed and changed and all that good stuff?''

She continued, raising an eyebrow. Somehow the idea of Rossi changing nappies didn't come to her easily. It wasn't like he wasn't good with Henry, he really was. But he had never watched him, or done any of the baby duties.

''Hey, I know how to look after a baby, okay? Now do you want to take JJ to dinner or not?''

He grumbled huffily, making her try not to laugh out loud at the almost child like petulance.

''Yes, yes I really do. It's…really brave of you, thank you!''

Yet she couldn't help but get one last teasing remark in. And she couldn't help but laugh as he rolled his eyes grumpily, huffing slightly as he shook his head and starred into his mug.

After the quickest pit stop at work, Emily started to make her way home. She had grabbed a couple of things from her desk, been through the speedy de-brief which was more of a plan of action for the team to work on in respect to their action plans for how to pick up on similar cases in the future, and had ducked her head into JJ's office. She had smirked because she knew JJ had been there. There were the tell tale signs. Jordan had kept JJ's office pretty much as she had found it, but there had been a few personal quirks and differences, that were now gone and back to JJ's style.

Emily hadn't really seen Jordan; the woman seemed to be avoiding her after they had left Alabama. She had wondered what that was all about. She suspected the woman was feeling somewhat guilty for not being able to stay in another 3 weeks and making JJ come back early, and maybe she thought she'd be mad with her. But Emily wasn't mad. This unit was tough on even the best of Agent's, and JJ's job was none stop and in some ways tougher than everyone else's. In the end, there was a team of them, but just one JJ. And JJ's job required her to profile too.

Arriving home, Emily smirked as she pulled up behind JJ's SUV in the driveway and practically leapt out of her car. She grabbed her go back and her suit jacket from the backseat and headed up to the house.

''JJ? Baby?''

She called as she stepped in, closing the door and listening for noise.

''In the kitchen.''

Immediately Emily set a course for the kitchen, smiling widely as she let the feeling of being home really sink in.

''Welcome back sweetheart.''

Emily smiled, letting her bag slide off her shoulder and onto the floor as JJ hugged her, and she breathed deeply before wrapping her arms around her firmly. Her hand moved up to stroke through silky blonde hair gently, loving even the simplest contact with her wife.

''Oh, it's good to be home.''

The dark brunette murmured, burying her face into the crook of JJ's neck, breathing in deeply the scent of her, her perfume and shampoo. JJ always smelt so nice.

''I heard the case was difficult, are you okay?''

Emily grunted softly, giving JJ a slight squeeze before drawing back slightly so that she could look at her.

''Yeah, I think so. I think it shook us all, to be honest.''

''Yeah, kinda got that impression from Jordan. And Garcia.''

''Garcia?''

''Yeah, I took Henry by earlier, you know to organize my office a little bit before I actually start back.''

Emily smirked slightly, running fingers through JJ's hair again.

''Oh so you mean Garcia took the opportunity to steal him from you and spoil him rotten?''

Emily surmised, knowing exactly how that usually went down. JJ laughed, nodding as she rolled her eyes at the thought of her best friends antics.

''Yeah pretty much. But you so know he loved every second of the attention!''

Emily grunted, chuckling lightly as she rolled her eyes playfully. She had to admit, her boy was definitely a lover of all the fuss that came his way. She liked to see him so happy though, as did JJ. He was one little heartbreaker, that was for sure. Of course Emily tended to think that he got that from JJ. He was so much like her, so very beautiful.

Emily took in a breath, leaning in to kiss her wife softly. JJ welcomed the kiss, her hand moving to the small of Emily's back as the other reached to tangle in dark tresses. The kisses got a little deeper bit by bit, but no rush was made, they were languid and loving and comfortable. Eventually a little gurgle from Henry's direction pierced their bubble, and both of them smiled as Emily placed a kiss on JJ's forehead, before wrapping her into a hug again.

''I love you so much.''

She breathed, making JJ give her a little squeeze in acknowledgement.

''I love you too.''

Another gurgle floated across the kitchen, and JJ started chuckling before pulling back as Emily pretended to be reluctant and exasperated to draw her attention toward Henry. He sat happily in his rocker, bouncing in it excitedly as he peered over, drooling over the toy he held in his tiny little hand as he gurgled and sounded out.

''Okay, okay, geez kid, talk about ruining the moment. I was trying to get into your Mother's pants here, you know? Give me a break!''

Emily whined teasingly, a goofy smirk on her face as she headed toward Henry who squealed and bounced even more at her approach. Emily threw a look over her shoulder at JJ as the blonde huffed as she heard Emily's words and whacked her on the ass for it.

''He does _not _need to hear that!''

JJ laughed, making Emily shrug lightly, knowing that JJ knew she was only playing. Well, only playing at pretending Henry had gotten in the way. JJ knew damn well she was probably serious about trying to get into her pants. She watched as the brunette approached their giddy boy, fiddling with the little buckles that made sure he was safe in the little rocker chair. Henry continued to wiggle and squirm enthusiastically.

''I'm trying to bust you out man, but this thing is really well…ah ha, never mind! You're all mine now.''

Emily lifted Henry out of the chair, pulling a face at him that made him laugh as she held him in her arms safely. He squealed with laughter as she placed a series of quick kisses over his face, bouncing in her arms as she did and wiggling the toy in the air. He smelt so pure and innocent, the way babies tended to smell, and she was relieved to be home with him in her arms. It was easier to shake off her conversation with Cathy, easier to truly believe what she had said to her about the way she loved her son.

''There's my boy! Mommy missed you, yes she did!''

JJ draped herself over the counter top happy to just watch Emily and Henry interact with each other. She continued to bounce him and fuss over him, talking to him sweetly with the biggest smile on his face, responding to his sounds conversation style. JJ didn't think she had seen anyone so natural with a baby in her life. Emily had always been good with children even though she had often fretted about it. When they had started talking about starting a family it had been Emily that had been dubious about her ability to care for a child. From little things to big things but she despite her issues had barely blinked about it all.

JJ thought back to how Emily had been behind her every step of the way through her pregnancy and how she had gone out of her way to cater to her every whim. To make sure she felt supported and loved and safe every single second of every single day. She had planned and gotten lost in ideas of what could happen for and to their child and how they would love and support it through anything. Had read to her stomach and done all kinds of sweet things that came in abundance and she would never forget.

Henry adored Emily, was mesmerized and fascinated by her. JJ often watched them just be together, the way they would look at each other, his eyes completely lost in hers. The way he responded to her voice, especially when she sang to him. It was beautiful.

Henry squealed again, and she kissed him before looking up, noticing JJ's far away look.

''What?''

JJ just smiled, eyes sparkling brightly.

''I just think you're beautiful; I love watching you with him. You're a fantastic Mom.''

Emily opened her mouth, but found that there wasn't any words to come out. She wondered briefly if Rossi had told JJ what that woman had said but she disregarded that thought because the look in JJ's eyes was so pure and heartfelt that she knew it was nothing to do with this past case.

''Well then he has two fantastic Mom's then. But I think we got the better end of the bargain!''

JJ laughed, nodded as she stood up and moved over to hug Emily from behind, and peer over to look at Henry. They both did it all of the time, just watched with him and held him. They couldn't help themselves.

''Me too.''

Later that evening, Emily had fully settled back in at home and went about her normal ways as though she had never been gone. It also found her at the baby-changing stand that they had gotten, making cleaning up a squirmy baby look like easy work.

''Henry my boy you have your charms but this smell ain't one of 'em!''

She teased, letting out a puff of air as she shoved the nappy into the special dispenser and marveling at just how something so small could make that smell.

''I can't wait 'till the great David Rossi handles this!''

Just as she said that, JJ came into the nursery with Henry's bedtime bottle at the ready.

''Till Rossi handles what?''

She asked, frowning slightly in confusion. Emily looked at her also frowning as she tried to remember if she had actually told JJ about her intention to take her to dinner tomorrow night and that she had enlisted Rossi's help to do so. Apparently she hadn't.

''Well, I thought I'd take you to dinner tomorrow night. You're starting back at work and everything so I thought it would be good and Dave said he'd watch Henry for us.''

She explained, finishing cleaning up her son and putting a new nappy onto him. She had gotten it down to an art form now, as had JJ. The JJ that was frowning uncomfortably.

''What's wrong?''

Emily asked as she picked her sleepy son back up into her arms.

''Dinner? Really?''

''Yeah, why what's wrong?''

JJ grimaced, moving over to the arm chair in the corner of the room and sitting in it. She looked up at Emily who followed her over.

''I just…I don't know how comfortable I'd be.''

''Honey, Henry will be fine. You'll have to leave him to go to work on Monday so…''

JJ shook her head, carefully accepting her son as Emily bent down and passed him to her. He snorted and made sleepy baby sounds, and she cradled him in her arms and picked up the bottle again. He accepted it quickly, and as she watched him for a second, she knew he was taking it okay and looked back up at Emily again.

''It's not that. I just…god this is going to sound really vain. But dinner usually requires fancier clothes, particularly dresses.''

She cringed in explanation. Emily still looked confused.

''So…''

JJ huffed, not at Emily but in preparation to just spell it out.

''So I don't exactly feel like I'm at my…sexiest, or something? I don't want to be stared at.''

Emily, suddenly realising that JJ didn't feel so much in the way of beautiful right now, crouched down in front of her and put her hands on her knees.

''Baby, people won't stare at you because you haven't shed the pregnancy weight completely yet. They'd stare at you because you're beautiful.''

JJ scoffed in disbelief.

''Yeah, right.''

''I mean it.''

''I know you mean it, but have to you're married to me. I thought it'd be gone by now and it isn't and it's getting to me. There, I said it. I've always been an athlete Emily, that's what I'm used to and you met me like that and…''

JJ was sufficiently cut off when Emily leant forward and kissed her thoroughly. When she pulled back JJ just looked at her.

''You're not worried about people you're worried about me.''

The profiler stated having cottoned on to what was really behind JJ's words. JJ sighed, looking at Henry before Emily made her look up again by putting two fingers under her chin.

''Jennifer, you are stunningly beautiful. You always have been, you are right now. And tomorrow, when you walk out ready, I'll want you just like I always want you because you are downright the sexiest woman I've ever laid my eyes on. There's nothing about you that doesn't turn me on, ever.''

JJ had mixed feeling about the fact that she had suddenly become so shallow, but she knew she needed to hear that. It wasn't really the pregnancy weight that she was worried about, she didn't care about that. She had just heard all sorts of stories about partners loosing interest after a child arrived and even though she trusted Emily she couldn't help but think about them and wonder if it could happen to her. Maybe it was the left over hormones or something but either way the notion scared her which was why she hadn't worn anything particularly revealing or snug, and why she had always made sure that the lights were off and that they were under the covers when they'd started having sex again. She hadn't let Emily go down on her yet, fearing that if she did she would suddenly realise that she wasn't the same as before.

''Really?''

She had blushed a little, her voice had husked but she looked into those dark bottomless eyes, seeing the truth in them and the unadulterated hunger that Emily cast her way, for her. The hunger she had seen countless times before right from the start. It actually seemed stronger now more than any other time before.

''Yeah, really. And I'll spend the whole night proving it when he's asleep.''

Emily's eyes didn't falter, her intentions crystal clear. It all made sense now and she kicked herself for not picking up on it before. She had just wanted JJ to feel comfortable in the times they had made love before, so lost in feeling that she didn't think why the blonde would only let her do certain things. She thought maybe she might still be sensitive, but now she realised that she had been scared. Well that would all change, because she wasn't about to let her wife think for another second that she was put off by her because she wasn't. She had never been and never would be. She'd show her that by worshiping her like she deserved to be worshiped.

It went needless to say, that by morning light, JJ held no such thoughts or worries. Emily had kept her promise, and had smirked that morning as she had laid in bed and just watched as JJ had gotten out to go to the bathroom in her naked glory without a care in the world. And after some teasing that night after going shopping and spending the day as a family of Rossi, they'd gone out and had a great time, coming home to repeat the love making again until the very small hours. Sunday they had relaxed with their son, and by Monday JJ was back at work, comfortable and prepared, and although with some anxiety at being separated from Henry, completely comfortable and set to go.


End file.
